Marriage (vivāha, leading the bride away from the parental home) in Hinduism is one of the many samskāras, religious rites, performed in the life of a Hindu. The ritual helps someone to reach a new stage of life. Marriage is the beginning of the second stage of life, that of the head of the household or grihasta. The ceremony of marriage is partly performed in Sanskrit; the sacred language of Hinduism. The exact customs and traditions of marriage vary by region, varna/class and family. Hindus generally place great value on marriage; it is therefore accompanied by elaborate ceremonies and feasts that last for several days. Although modern Hinduism is largely based on the Puja form of prayer, Hindu marriage is still mostly a yajna ceremony at its core.

Eight Marriage Forms

There are eight different forms of marriage in Hinduism. The forms of marriage are named after the order of gods and demons and thus are ranked according to the degree of appreciation that a particular form of marriage enjoys.

1. Bramha-vivāha: In this form of marriage, the bride and groom come from a good family and from the same varna. The groom must have completed his Brahmacharya Ashram (study period). There is no dowry, the bride comes to the groom's house with only two pairs of clothes. The man's family approaches the woman's family. The marriage ritual where the father hands over his daughter (Kanyadaan) is important.
2. Daiva-vivāha: When a suitable man is not found for a woman, she is coupled (married off) to a priest. The priest makes a public offering.
3. Arsha-vivāha: The man sacrifices a cow and a bull to the woman's father. In return, he hands over his daughter.
4. Prajāpati-vivāha: This type of marriage is very similar to Bramha-vivāha, but here the wife's family approaches the husband's family. Also, the ritual of kanyadaan is not performed.
5. Asura-vivāha': Marriage is established by giving gifts to the bride and her family. The value of the gifts is determined by the position of the woman's family.
6. Gandharva-vivāha: The husband and wife choose marriage themselves. No permission is asked from the parents or the parents are against the intended marriage.
7. Rakshasa-vivāha: The woman agrees to the marriage, but her family does not. The woman is kidnapped by the man's family.
8. Pishāca-vivāha: This type of marriage is not allowed. The woman is married off/raped in a lowered state of consciousness (drunk, drugged, etc.[1]).

Hindu marriage in the Caribbean and the Netherlands can be characterized as an intermediate form that contains elements from both the Prajāpati and the Arsha form.[2]

Hindu marriage has restrictions for entering into a marriage. One is that there is no marriage with someone from the circle of relatives: exogamy. There are different categories of kinship, such as consanguinity, kinship, village kinship, and kinship by adoption. In India, where most Hindus live, marriage has been regulated by law for Hindus of all castes and denominations since 1955.

Hindu marriage in Suriname

In both Surinamese Hindu communities, the Arya Samaj and the Sanātana Dharam, marriage is largely along the same lines, although the Arya Samaj is more austere in many customs. Following is a description of Hindu marriage according to Sanātana Dharam custom.

The wedding ceremonies consist of 5 parts:[3]

• the betrothal: vāgdān
• the banns: tilak
• the day before the wedding: bhatwān
• the day of the wedding: kanyādān
• farewell

The engagement

• Making contact: The parents of the girl contact the parents of the boy.
• Bardekhī: The girl's father officially visits the boy to meet his soon-to-be son-in-law.
• Gannā baithānā: The pandits (Hindu clerics) of the families meet at the boy's house to determine, based on the zodiac sign of the boy and girl, whether they are destined to marry each other.
• Bar-cheṉkā: The girl's father, accompanied by his pandit, goes to the boy's house to reserve him for himself by means of a gift.
• Lagan: The pandits gather to determine the date of the tilak and the wedding day from the patrā (astrological almanac).

The banns: Tilak

• Tilak: The bride's father, his pandit and some male relatives go to the groom's house. There a pūjā, ritual ceremony, takes place. The bride's father places a tilak on the forehead of his soon-to-be son-in-law in honor of the groom. Finally, the father-in-law gives his son-in-law a gift.
• Invitation: A few days after the tilak, the nāū (barber) of the bride's family is sent out to invite the guests to the wedding. The nāū hands the invitees two cloves and/or a few yellow-colored grains of rice.
• Matkorwā: The matkorwā, in which only women are allowed to participate, is performed in both the bride's and groom's family. Two days before the wedding, at dusk, the women gather to go and sing to fetch the bliss-bringing earth.
• Making the kohbar: In the parental house of the bride, but also in the house of the groom, a room is set up as a sanctuary for the family god and the deceased ancestors.

The Day of Bhatwani

On the day of Bhatwan, the bride and groom do not see each other. Both families perform the ceremonies separately from each other. The ceremonies are the same for both the bride and the groom. The only difference is that māṉro is not made at the groom's home.

In the bride's house:

• Preparing the marriage kalsā: The father's sister (phūā) makes a ring with cow dung around an earthen pitcher and puts on the outside of the pitcher compartments symbolizing the different parts of the earth. In the ring of cow dung, the phūā puts grains of rice in brine as a symbol of fertility.
• Erecting the māṉro: The erection of the marriage tent is started. The wedding ceremony takes place the next day in the wedding tent.
• Solemn pūjā before the wedding kalsā: The bride's parents hold a ritual ceremony. The father's sister fills the kalsa with water in exchange for a gift from the bride's father. A four-burner lamp is then lit and the parents pray to the gods requesting their assistance.
• Hardī carhānā: The bride sits at the kalsā. With the help of the pandit, the bride holds a pūjā. Then, using a bunch of dūb grass, the pandit sprinkles a mixture of oil and hardī on the kalsā and on the bride's head. The parents also do this, but they also touch the shoulders, knees and feet of the bride in addition to the head.
• Kanganbandhan: The pandit ties a protective band around the left wrist of the bride. The protective band is a hard colored piece of fabric in which yellow colored rice, dūb grass, a flower, yellow mustard and a mango leaf without grain is knotted.
• Mātrkā-pūjā: The bride's parents perform pūjā in honor of the mothers, guardian goddesses.
• Pitr-pūjā: There is a ritual ceremony for the worship and invitation of the dead ancestors.
• Tilwān and cumāwan: In the incomplete māṉro, the shoulders, arms and legs of the bride are rubbed with a mixture of hardī and oil (tilwan) by five married women. The bride is then given rice in her hands. One of the women takes a bunch of dūb grass in her hands, dips it in the hardī and presses it on the rice in the bride's hands, then touches her feet, knees, shoulders and head as well. Then the aunt kisses the grove of dūb grass (cumāwan).
• Thāpā lagānā: Handprints are made with a mixture of hardī and rice flour on the walls of the kohbar and on the outside of the house. The prints represent happiness and indicate the arrival of marriage.
• Finishing māṉro: During the day, the wedding tent is finished.
• Lāwā bhūnjnā: In the evening padi is roasted so that lāwā is formed. The lāwā is mixed with that of the groom on the day of the wedding and will then be used in the wedding ceremony.
• Bhatwān: Bhatwān is the day of bhāt, boiled rice, and family and guests eat rice on this day.

Day of the wedding: Vivaah

The ceremonies prior to the actual wedding
At the groom's house

• • Mīthā bhāt khilānā: The mother gives the groom and some other unmarried boys a meal of sweet rice. With this, the groom says goodbye to the unmarried state.
  • Kuṉwārpan uthānā: The bridegroom's mother collects the leftover food on a mango leaf. The mother then asks her son: Kuṉwārpan uthā gayā? (Has the virgin state been thrown away?). The son replies: Uthā gayā (He has been cast away).
  • Satnārāyan kathā: A Satnārāyan kathā is held by the parents or only the father.

Tilwān and cumāwan: These are performed another 4 times.

• Bar kā nahān: The groom is given a (lucky) bath.
• Nachuā or nechū: The groom is dressed in his wedding dress: jorā jāmā (a yellow suit). A yellow turban is wrapped around the groom's head, on which later the maur, a decorated crown, will be placed. The groom is accompanied by a brother-in-law who assists him and a nephew who is a groomsman (also wearing a yellow suit). Also, the groom's nails are trimmed and his feet are painted red.
• Imlī ghontāī: The mother's brother takes seven mango leaves and takes out the middle veins. He then has the groom bite off the tips of the leaves one by one and hold them in his mouth. After this, he is given water to drink and spits the water with the grain tips into his mother's hand.
• Kūāṉ jhāṉknā and chātī chuānā: The mother is sad about the departure of her son. The groom must comfort his mother and promise her that he will return soon with his bride. The mother presses her son's head to her chest, symbolizing that she last feeds him as a child.
• Departure from the barāt: The groom's procession, consisting of the groom, his father, the pandit and all other male relatives and friends, goes to the parental home of the bride where the wedding ceremony will take place.

The ceremonies of mīthā bhāt khilānā, kuṉwārpan uthānā, satnārāyan kathā and tilwān and cumāwan are also performed in the bride's house. The bath and the dressing of the bride must be delayed.

The actual wedding at the bride's house

The wedding can be divided into 4 stages:

• Arrival of the barāt
• The bride alone in the māṉro
• The groom alone in the māṉro
• Bride and groom both in the māṉro (wedding ceremony)

Arrival of the barāt

• Agawanī and milān: The groom and barāt (other male relatives and friends) are received and welcomed by the bride's father, his pandit and other male relatives.
• Dwār-pūjā: The father of the bride and groom make an offering made by fire to the god Ganesha.
• Parchan: The groom is worshiped by the married women of the bride's family. The mother of the bride, who starts first, comes with a bowl (thaali) containing a burning light, dough balls, flowers and rice. She turns the bowl with the light around the face of the groom, gives him and the groomsman a present and throws some balls of dough at the guests.
• Groom and barātīs in the janwas: After the parchan, the bridegroom and his followers go to a separate residence, which is specially equipped for them: the janwas. Getting there the bridegroom stays until he has to go to the māṉro.

Bride alone in the māṉro

• • Bath and dress the bride
  • Nachuā (see 2.4.1. point 6)
  • Imlī ghontāī (see 2.4.1. point 7)
  • Dāl pūjā:After a sacrificial ceremony in honor of the god Ganesha, Gauri, the nine planets, and the gods, her father-in-law's bride receives a large basket (dāl) of gifts.
  • Tāg-pāt: The eldest brother of the groom puts a kind of silk thread on the bride without touching her. The pandit tells him never to touch the bride unless in an extreme emergency.

Unpacking the dāl: The bride's pandit unwraps the gifts.

The groom alone in the māṉro

• Pīrhā kī pūjā: The wedding bench on which the bride and groom will later sit is worshiped by the groom.
• Solemn argha: The groom now goes out of the janwas to the māṉro, where he is received by the bride's father.
• Agnisthāpana: The fire necessary for the marriage ceremony is lit.

Bride and groom both in the māṉro (wedding ceremony)

• Vatradān: The father of the bride hands over four garments to the groom, 2 for the bride and 2 for the groom himself.
• Parasparamīkṣaṇa: The bride and groom look at each other.
• Hastalepana: The bride's parents wash their daughter's hands and feet and rub dūbgras hardī on her hands.
• Sākhoccāra: The pandit gives the bride and groom each a yellow ribbon tied with dūb grass, a flower and a coin. Finally, the two pieces are tied together and the pandit recites the sākhoccārra of the groom as his great-grandfather's great-grandson. Then the pandit does the same for the bride.
• Kanyādān: The bride's parents officially give their daughter away to the groom.
• Paupujī: The bride's relatives honor the couple by washing the feet of the bride and groom and giving gifts.
• Bride and groom go to the sacrificial fire: Recitation of mantra.
• Vaivāhikahoma: The groom worships the feet of his pandit.
• Lājā-homa and bhāṉwar: First, the lāwā roasted on the bhatwān is mixed by the families of the bride and groom. The bride and groom then make seven rounds around the fire. During the first 4 rounds, the bride, assisted by the groom, throws the lāwā into the fire.
• Saptapadī: The bride and groom take seven steps. The steps in a northeasterly direction start with the right foot. With each step, the groom says a short mantra.
• Abhiṣeka: The couple sits down on the wedding bench and the groom sprinkles water on the bride's head with a mango leaf.
• Dhruvāvalokana: Dhruva is the pole star. The groom points the bride to the pole star.
• Hṛdayasparśa: The groom touches her heart over the bride's right shoulder and speaks a verse.
• Swapping places on the wedding bench: The bride has sat on the right until now, but her place as a wife is on her husband's left. However, the bride does not sit until the groom has promised to fulfill the seven conditions the bride has set.
• Sumaṅgalī and sirdūrdān: The bride and groom are covered with a yellow cloth. Under the cloth, the groom puts sindūr, vermilion, in the bride's hair part. When the groom is ready, a married woman joins the sindūr to work.
• End of the fire offering and blessing of the pandit
• To the kohbar: The bride and groom go to the kohbar accompanied by some women, the nau and the groomsman. Before they can enter, the couple is stopped by a sister or niece of the bride. Only when the groom has given her a gift (money) does she let them through. In the kohbar, the couple asks their blessings from the gods and deceased ancestors. Then the couple plays a game: jūā khelnā (dice).
• Wedding meal: The bride stays in the kobhar where she will eat with the other women. The nau takes the groom and groomsman back to the māṉro, where they will have their meal with the other important barātīs.

Farewell and arrival at the groom's house

• Eating the khicaṛī: The morning after the wedding night, the groom, his father and the barātīs reunite in the māṉro. The bride's father offers the company of khicarī, rice with dāl (pea puree).
• Māṉro hilānā: After eating the khicarī, the groom's father shakes the māṉro, indicating that the bride cannot stay here anymore, but must accompany the groom.
• Bidāī: The bride leaves with the groom. Before she leaves, she says goodbye to her family.
• Vadhūpraveś: The arrival of the bride in the groom's house.
• Caturthī: On the fourth day after the bhatwān, some rituals, fertilization ceremonies, take place.

After staying with her in-laws for a few days, the bride returns to her parental home. After a short stay, she leaves for a second time, this time permanently, to the groom's house.